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You are the expert on your situation. The part of the brain affected by trauma does not keep time. This means when you think of it today it feels as real as the day it happened. Through grounding, processing, and brainspotting we can help you heal and be whole again. As you pick up the fragments of memory the puzzle can once again become clear. Then you will know what you need to feel emotionally and physically safe. Your expectations will adjust to a reasonable healing timeline and your story will finally make sense.
Betrayal trauma occurs when one partner is betrayed by another in a sexual way and/or relational way with the use of pornography and people. This most often stems from an intimacy disorder which causes an attachment rupture between husband and wife. Through coaching partners find a safety plan to consist of: building a healthy sense of self, tools like boundary work, trigger identification and management, fight-flight-freeze regulation techniques, working through the grieving process, and working through the emotional impact. Goals can then be established based on your dreams for your life. You will not be shamed or blamed if things move slowly. The road is long but worth it!
We offer individual and group support for women.
We also offer a Disclosure Process which includes 12-15 coaching sessions prior to Disclosure, four days with two coaches or counselors assisting through Disclosure and Rebuilding, and Couples Work following Disclosure.
Before any work begins we take time to assess your safety in all areas of life. We also measure your trauma to identify where you have been most affected by Betrayal Trauma.
Sometimes before we even begin there must be a focus on helping calm the sympathetic nervous system from constant fight, flight, freeze responses.
The goal is not to suffer through until you die but to be okay either way. No matter what the outcome of your marriage it is our hope that you as an individual be survive and be well . We do not elevate the institution of marriage above the safety and wellness of individuals. Knowing what you need to heal and feel emotionally safe is our starting point.
We start with self-entertainment boundary work before we work on external boundaries
We assist in identifying values and building boundaries around them. We then practice what this will look like in a practical way.
We assist in coaching clients through complex issues often involving more than one addiction or mental health diagnosis.
We assist in writing impact letters. These letters can often be used to indicate where trauma is hiding and assist in reducing triggers with brainspotting.
Brainspotting is used to assist you into deeper unconscious spaces where grief resides. This can bring healing and allow for difficult emotions in a safe space.
We assist in helping you establish safety and stability for your children. We also coach partners through how to help their children through separation and divorce.
Once healing and strength have taken hold we begin to encourage you to dream and use your voice again. We use vision boarding to draft what your new normal and future hopes and dreams will look like.
Our faith can break apart when people hurt and betray us. So many questions arise like “Why would a faithful God allow this?” It can be difficult to reconcile harmful acts of men with faith that God is with us and watching over us. In the midst our anger and hurt our souls cry out for justice. Through the gift of brokenness and trauma we see the intention of a loving God to draw out our strengths and use our weaknesses as a way to relate to other wounded travelers. We find treasures in our trauma.